I’ve come down to the realization that maybe killing myself or running away would be best for everyone, especialy for my mom.

I think I messed up because I rather be talking to you.

I think texting girls is awkward.

I can’t get myself to deleting our text messages that we spent months piling.

I can’t get myself to erasing our anniversary date off my mirror that I wrote in red lip stick.

I can’t get myself to deleting the silly pictures you sent me.

I can’t get myself to deleteing the stupid gifs you made me.

I can’t get myself to forget all the hurtful things you said to me.

I can’t get myself to forget all the amazing things you said to me.

I can’t get myself to forget all the summer nights I’d spend talking to you.

I can’t get myself to forget that amazing smile of yours that I put on your face.

I can’t get myself to forget the first time you told me you loved me.

I can’t get myself to forget you.

Don’t ask to meet the real me, 98% of the time you’ll end up hating her.

Learn to keep your distance.

Until you tell me that you don’t love me anymore and can’t stand my existence, I’m going to keep trying. As much as it hurts, I’m going to keep trying.

Why is everyone treating me like this?

I’m feeling weak & uneasy. I could really go for a conversation with you right now. I miss you. 

7 months and 7 days without you. Rest in paradise. 

Ouch ouch ouch ouch.

That was like a punch to the heart. 

Confession: I may not be single, but I sure feel like it & I might as will be.

Why am I not single? Because I actually know that I don’t know what I have till its gone. 

I should learn to drown my depression in art instead of tears & bloody wrists.

If you truly miss me, you’ll find a way to get my attention. 

I wish I could call you & start conversations with, “why am I so miserable?” or “why am I like this?” or just not say anything at all, & have you instantly know what’s wrong & what’s going on in my head, & you just cheer me up. I wish you had the desire to want to be there for me, and be the reason for me to be happy, but you don’t .You don’t have that drive anymore. 

I don’t think my mom realizes this, but she rarely ever buys me anything that doesn’t pertain to school, but just want.

Do you even have the right to categorize me as spoiled?

I mean, I apparently owe you $100 now because you wanted to take me shopping. And if you actually buy me something, 75% of the time I end up just agreeing that you should return it. 

I understand you dont have a job and that we basically live off your husband, but you make it seem like it’s right for my dad to pay for everything. 

I mean, you do realize the only thing you basically pay for is the food that goes in my mouth and school supplies that we get maybe twice a year, right?

If I treated you the way you treat me, I promise you wouldn’t stick around.